I attended a friend's wedding recently and to an extent, it was fun. But you know in Nigeria, a wedding is considered imperfect if item 7 falls short of inspection. Yes! At this friend's wedding, everything was gorgeous and I mean gorgeous. The decor, the bridesmaids' dresses, aso-ebi. Everything was on point. But at the climax of the event, that time where guests were eagerly awaiting trays and trays of exquisitely prepared delicacies, things came to a standstill.

 Oh, how many waited, necks turning, throats visibly vibrating. It did not help matters that strong aromas of heavily seasoned Jollof rice and fried meat wafted across the hall.  When eventually, the servers got to where I sat, it was another disaster.

 Accompanying the servers from table to table was this woman whom everybody called "Big Mummy". Dressed gorgeously in her ivory and purple Lace Iro and buba, headgear balanced precariously on her head and a hot red lipstick on her lips, she was the highlight of the wedding. Big mummy's job however was to ensure that no one got more than a plate of food and food was shared equally round the hall.  Although this intention was good, it did not sit well with some of the guests who felt they were being shortchanged, and so, heavily sarcastic and insulting words were exchanged between big mummy and a few exasperated guests.

It was obvious Big mummy had done this at more than one wedding. She was equal to the task. She returned each insult, never for once taking her attention off the trays of food. It was a hilarious sight to behold.

I felt so lucky and honoured when big mummy glanced in my direction and asked in Yoruba if I had gotten food. Yes, she had recognised me. Quickly, I grabbed a plate of food when it was passed to me.  Without thinking twice, I delved into my food and prayed that others would get as lucky as I did.

Thinking about it later though, I realised that Big mummy and the organisers of the wedding couldn't be blamed. After all, it has become the usual thing for guests in Naija to siphon food using one cunny means or the other. 

Nobody wan carry last for Naija wedding!