Finding Mr And Mrs Right: The Fact And The Fancy

By Ademola Adeyoju |

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We’ve all seen in movies – if not in reality – how the universe matches two people; how they magically connect on an emotional level, fall hopelessly in love, and live happily ever after.

 

But is it truly possible to find the perfect partner? Is there such thing as Mr. /Ms. Right? Or is the notion confined within the fantasy realm of film-making and acting?

Many people know the answers to these questions, but for the sake of this article, let me state with succinct clarity that there’s no such thing as the perfect man; the same way the perfect woman does not exist. It is our goodness and badness that makes us human in the first instance.

Even if it’s possible to find a partner who ticks all the boxes, there are certain things about them that will come out only in the context of the vulnerability and permanence that surround a marital relationship (It is impossible to anticipate all the whims and caprices of a person, especially as they evolve in a new, challenging environment as wedlock.)

A psychologist once noted that people feel that they have to find the ideal, perfect Mr. or Ms. Right, who is their soul mate, with whom they will feel passionate love forever, and who will make them happy forever. But as you might have noticed, this rarely ever happens.

Mr. or Ms. Perfect does not exist. Get the notion out of your head. Leave those love stories you see in the movies in the movies. Don’t let those ridiculously perfect love stories in the Korean movies mess with your head! Many people are still single because they are scared that the perfect man or woman will show up five seconds after they have exchanged the vows with another. The statistics is baffling!

Again, many people tend to think that they must have overwhelming attraction and chemistry with their partner before they even consider getting married to him/her. Yes, you should be attracted to your spouse and be able to show them off, but you must take off those rose-coloured Ray-Bans and put on clear, transparent glasses that let you see reality.

Marriage changes people; the high level of maturity, commitment and loyalty required in marriage brings out certain concealed traits. But learning about these things and loving the other person anyway is part of marriage. Marriage is wonderful, but it is still work.

   Ademola Adeyoju

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