The most special, most romantic part of any wedding is wrapped up in the few moments prospective couples take to exchange sacred words of promises - also known as wedding vows - by which they make lifelong commitments to one another. While it is true that some officiants insist that couples stick with the traditional vows, couples are generally allowed to scribble down their own vows in their own words.

Now, I’m a professional writer, and you should take this from me - it doesn’t matter what you mean to put down; writing is a bold and daring adventure. It is an art that requires the total synergy of the mind, body, and spirit.

Particularly, writing a wedding vow can be a daunting, energy-sapping task (since you’re probably not even a writer).

But don’t fret.

Quickly, I’m going to be sharing few practical tips on how to compose the perfect wedding vow, but remember that the following tips are not rules written in stone. (In other words, you can do whatever you like; take whatever approach you desire. It is your vow, your wedding!)

Let’s get to it.

Good Writing Begins With Good Research

This is an obvious tip for writers – the wider the extent of research, the more exposure one gains. So, you can browse the web for wedding vow samples/templates (there are so many on the web) or seek inspiration from romantic poems, novels or even movies. But beware of clichés. You can draw inspiration from diverse sources; still, want your vow to be distinct and impressive. Clichés are boring. Avoid them like a plague!

Have a Brainstorm Session and Organize your Thoughts

The big secret to writing is organizing one’s thoughts. Clarity in thoughts leads to clarity in words. Brainstorm; think about all the things you love and cherish about your partner. Stimulate your mind through visual aids (such as a picture of your partner), and reflect on why you want to marry him/her.

Get a Pen and a Paper. Begin Writing.

Now, you can express your thoughts in words. At first, just write anything and everything that comes to mind. Do not try to attain perfection yet. You can always edit, rearrange, or recompose all or any part of the vow. Think of this process as a ‘brain dump’. You might want to create a note on your phone or take a notepad along wherever you go during the period of writing. Sometimes, great thoughts come in the unlikeliest of places, and once you let them go, they might never come back, try as you might.

Be Honest. Be Sincere.

Select your words carefully and truthfully. Vows are by nature, solemn pledges/promises to do or to refrain from doing certain things. A vow written/spoken without honesty is no vow at all. It is dry words, totally useless, and not worth the paper upon which it is written. The whole point of writing a personalized wedding vow is so that you can express yourself, your true self, in relation with your partner.

Throw in Some Traditional Words

The standard, traditional vow has been used, and is still being used all over the world because the words encapsulate – in the grandest way – the promises partners should make to one another. Whether you intend to be humorous or clever, throwing in some traditional words like “… in sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, till death do us part” can greatly benefit and enhance the overall appeal of your vow.

Keep it Short and Sweet

There are very likely a thousand and one reasons why you want to marry who you want to marry, but hey, more is not always better. Keep your wedding vow witty and intelligent, short and sweet, simple and clear (especially if you intend to recite your vow offhand). Generally, wedding vows are around a minute or two long. In this regard, it is okay to follow the crowd. You don’t want your guests to get bored or restless. 

Read it Out Loud to Yourself a Thousand Times

Reading your wedding vows out loud helps you in two material ways: first, it helps you prepares you mentally and help you gain the confidence and assuredness that comes with rehearsal. Speaking in public can be a serious task, but if you have rehearsed your vows in front of a mirror, for instance, you would have mastered the means to stay calm and composed on the altar. Second, the mere act of reading your vows out loud might help you identify places where you need to improve; might help you discover long and awkward sentences that should probably be trimmed. Listen to yourself, and make sure that the words sound a lot like you.

Few ways to write unique wedding vows are:

• Good research
• Organize your thoughts
• Write them down
• Add traditional words
• Make it short and simple
• Read it out loud