Marriage is Just A Pot Of Beans

By Ademola Adeyoju |

So you want to get married, eh? Dear reader, you probably know this, but permit me to reiterate: Marriage is a big deal. It changes everything. And while some people are extremely lucky about their choices, some others live through each day wishing that they had made a different choice.

 

Marriages get sour for different ridiculous reasons; ridiculous because things could have been very different if the couple had contemplated discuss certain pertinent issues before they tie the knot. Yes, I’ll be the first to admit that it is not easy to anticipate every possible scenario in a marriage, yet it is wise to discover and bridge the sentimental and opinion gap between themselves and their partners. Examine these, for instance:

 Wedding Plans

  • Are you really prepared to commit yourself for better or for worse
  • Can you still have opposite sex friends? What are the boundaries?
  • Do you share the same perspectives on such potential marriage-breaker as work, sex, kids, and family?
  • What will you do if one of you really likes to hang out with someone the other doesn’t?
  • Whose view should prevail when you disagree about serious issues?

Now, let me give you a piece of my mind. There are so many couples out there who rather than enjoy, endure every day of their marriage, because they have failed to test the depth of the ocean before jumping into it. Love might be blind, but you don’t have to be. Avoidable sufferings are the most painful.

And all the relationship advice in the world won’t make any difference if you have chosen the wrong guy. Once the vows have been exchanged and you have been pronounced husband and wife, then it’s a little hard to negotiate any compromises. This right here, what you’re currently reading, is the step that often gets overlooked.

God has created us in a unique way, and he has wired us to reason differently, and this is why no two individuals share the same views. So before you walk to the altar, you must resolve the above questions, and make sure that you’re on the same page with your partner. It’s scary how unresolved, seemingly harmless issues can creep up on you, and destroy your relationship.

You’re probably thinking: hey, are you saying once I resolve the above queries, I’m safe? NO, not at all. The above list does not even begin to cover the kind of issues that needs to be settled before you venture into the most serious deal of your life, but ask yourself: would it not make sense to resolve the issues that you can anticipate now - and hope that whatever comes up eventually can be resolved - rather than leave everything to chance?

Dear prospective groom/bride, using the above list of queries as guide, I encourage you to draw up your own list, and discuss every item you consider relevant with your partner. As in every venture in life, taking proactive steps in relationships can yield huge positives. The opposite is also true… Sadly so.

  

 

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