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Life—with all its twists and turns, complications and dramas—is much the same as a coin-throwing game. There are only two outcomes: head or tail. There are always two opposing forces in the universe and every decision comes with a gentle mix of positive and negative.

In the same way, whether one gets married at a young age or at a very old age has its pros and cons—meaning that there is really no such thing as the ‘best time to get married’. Marriage itself is a gamble — there are no firm criteria; no foolproof signals; and no certainties. Planning on getting married soon? Worrying that you might be too young? Read this slowly and thoroughly.

First, let’s consider the pros.

• Marrying young is great. It gives you the opportunity to ‘grow’ with your partner in age, mentality, and perception. You get to mesh perfectly and you get to establish your habits and routines together. This way, there’s less frictions, less conflicts, and less dissimilar opinions in your marriage.

• Marrying young eliminates a lot of emotional stress, pointless heartbreaks, and pressure that often develop after years wasted on finding the ‘one’. In other words, there’s less emotional garbage to deal with.

• As I wrote in “Married Men’s Biggest Fears”, men are afraid of becoming ‘second-class citizens’ in their own homes, and this is what happens when those cute, creepy, little babies come into the equation and steal all the attention. Marrying young takes off the pressure to have kids in the near future and gives you the opportunity to enjoy each other’s company and attention… if you know what I mean.

• If you’re devout—as many Nigerians are—and you do not want to commit ‘youthful’ sins, marriage provides a righteous, moral, and acceptable platform to satisfy all your sexual desires. You get to escape the burden of guilt, and you never have to deal with the consequences of fornication.Now, here are the cons.
• Let’s not get carried away—marrying young means you’re both young and immature. You’re still discovering yourself; you’re still learning how to be responsible; and you’re largely unprepared and inexperienced.

• Marrying young means you’re sacrificing the best years of your life dealing with real-life issues, shouldering responsibilities, and meeting up with expectations. I don’t know about you, but even the thoughts of staying committed to one person for the rest of my life sometimes scares the shit out of me. Lol.

• Marrying young creates a gigantic void and an unquenchable thirst in your soul, especially if you have an adventurous spirit—you will always keep wondering, always keeps guessing what you might have missed, what could have been. We’re all greedy in our little way.
  Largely due to financial problems, immaturity, and the burden of responsibilities life hasn’t prepared them for, couples who get married before the age of 25 are twice as likely to get divorced, research has shown.

Let me end this piece by saying that I know that everyone, as a matter of course, wants the perfect marriage, it is crucial therefore to understand the fact that the most important factor in a ‘perfect marriage’ is not age, but finding the person with the same attitude, ideologies, views, opinions, inclinations, dreams, visions, and aspirations.

Young or old, experienced or not, independent or dependent, marriage is difficult, awkward, and inconvenient and love is blind, stupid, and totally irrational, but it is worth the experience and there’s no such thing as the ‘right’ age to get married. If anyone tells you otherwise, don’t mind them!