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"Tamara, what exactly is the issue? What did I do to wrong you? Just--Just tell me".
"Sweetheart, nothing-You did not do anything" My voice was shaky with tears.
"This is the same thing I've been asking you for how long now? Tamara, why are you torturing
me?"

I could sense the frustration in Jude's voice. That was not the first time we would be having
that conversation. But what was I supposed to do? I was as tired of the whole thing as he was. I
was helpless.
That particular day, he had invited my mother to plead with me. Mama was conspicuously
upset.
"Jude, you didn't do anything. I am begging you..."
"Mama, you see! You see, this is the same response I get. Tamara wants to drive me mad"
"God forbid my son. You will not go mad by the gods of my fathers. Tamara, Tamara,
Tamara!"
I knelt there in front of Jude, staring at a stain on the tiles. It must have been from some
Orange juice Foluke forgot to wipe.
"This girl ought to have been changed by now." I thought. "Her forgetfulness is pissing me off.
But then, who will help me get a maid very fast? ..."
"Tamara! What was the last thing mama said?"
Jude's angry voice brought me back to reality. I wasn't even listening to Mama.
"Who? Mama? I heard everything she said..."
"So, Tamara, you are not listening to me. Abi? I should continue speaking to the wind. Ehn?"
Mama was visibly angry. But for the fact that I was married, she would have slapped.
Jude stood to leave for his room.
"Mama, I am just sorry to have brought you all the way. Tamara listens to no one on this
matter. I just want you to be a witness to her attitude."
"My son, please..."
"Mama, I just want you to remember there is a limit to which I can endure this. There is! I will
return to Asaba in two days. She is free to suit herself!"
"Asaba? But Jude, we agreed you would spend the entire leave here. Why are you..." I said.
"Why what? Do you need me? Do you? The next time we would be having this discussion, it is
both families that would be present!"
"Chai! My son, please…please ehn. Exercise some patience. Let me talk to her please."
"Mama, please permit me to go to my room"
I crawled to grab his foot.
"Jude please, please I'm begging you. I am sorry"
"Sorry?" He laughed a bit. "I did not ask you to be sorry. I only asked you to tell me what the
matter is. So, since you are not ready to talk, leave me alone" He removed my hands from his
leg and walked angrily to the room slamming the door in annoyance.
"Tamara! Tamara!"
Now I had to face Mum.
"Ma"
"What is wrong with you?!" She stretched her hand to pull my ears.
"Mama, are you pulling my ear?"
"I actually want to pull it out before Jude throws your load out you stupid child! I said, what is
wrong with you?"
There was no way I could tell her even if both ears fell off.
"Nothing Mama"

I sat alone in the sitting room after Mama had gone to sleep.
Sewing kept my mind busy as I tried to make some fancy handkerchiefs for Jude.
I decided to check on him in the room. He was fast asleep. Jude had a habit of sleeping earlier
when he was upset. I must have made him really upset again that night.
I covered myself tempted to sleep in his arms. But I'd rather I slept facing the wall than wake
him. He looked so handsome and quiet in his sleep.
"Jude, why do you think something is wrong with me?" I wanted to ask.
"Jude, why can't you let me wallow in this guilt in peace? Must you suffer with me?"
So many thoughts ran through my mind in a split second
"Perhaps, I should wake him and say it" I thought to myself but My heart skipped.
"No, there is nothing to say...at least, for today"
I couldn't sleep.
I stood from the bed to take a walk or get some water. I had to look for a way to persuade Jude
not to go back to Asaba in two days. It was his annual vacation. I needed him at home. I missed
him a lot.
I poured some milk into a tumbler.
I really needed some sleep.
Then suddenly, I could hear that voice,
"You want some milk Tamara?"
That voice!
I turned in fright to see if he was in my house.
"Tamara, take some milk...Tamara...milk"
"No!" I screamed with the tumbler falling off my hand and shattering into pieces.
Suddenly, as usual, my head felt calm.
"Not again!"
I bent to pick the broken pieces of glass.
For how long would the sight of milk in a tumbler scare me?Isn't it time I forgot this incident?
"Ouch!" I didn't know I had stepped on a tiny piece wrongly. My foot was hurt.
"Arrrrrrgh" Such nonesense.
"Tamara,what is wrong with you?"
I didn't know Jude was standing by the door.
"Oh...nothing really.I fell and ...nothing"
He walked closer, shrugged, "Ofcourse, 'nothing' is always the answer. Let me see your foot"
He bent to remove the broken glass.
"Just go to bed. I'd clean up the place. I don't know why you are frightened in your own house."
I turned to reply but later held my tongue. He was right. Even in my own home, I was scared.
He returned to the room, laid on the bed and covered himself. Jude was obviously still angry.
"Jude, are you still angry with me?
He didn't respond.
"Jude...Jude...please now, talk to me"
He turned to me,
"Tamara, you know what I want to hear. Don't you?
Ofcourse I knew.
Only that I could not say it.

If you enjoyed this, you might want to check out the continuation... Drop a comment if you're a good guesser and you know what Tamara's hiding.