"I have been having conversations with people all around me about the Nigerian (Yoruba mostly) tradition and culture of the wife kneeling down to feed her husband cake at their wedding ceremony. Of course, like most like most women of our age group, my friend and I love, love, love attending weddings.

I love weddings especially Naija weddings. That's where we get to mix with other people of different ethnic groups, characters and personalities. We also check out people's fashion sense, latest fashion trends or outrageous styles and pretty much have a good time. One thing that perplexes and drives us both crazy is the Naija or is it Yoruba tradition of the bride kneeling to feed her husband a piece of their wedding cake or give him a sip from her wine. This absolutely just drives me crazy. Wha exactly is that about?

Not at any of the weddings that I attended where the bride knelt down,  has there ever been a move on the groom's part to join her (indicating that they are partners) or even dissuade her from the discomfort of kneeling down in her gorgeous reception gown. They usually smile smugly and enjoy the attention and then after a while, lift her up. My male friends I have talked to about this all seem to agree it is about submission on the part of the woman but I doubt this. . It is humiliating more like it. One of the reasons given by more older people is that it shows people and confirms that the girl has been well brought up, is polite, courteous and submissive. I however particularly find this act odd. However, it is a personal choice. If a woman wants to be submissive, then it's up to her. I just don't like the way it is portrayed as an act of respect. There are many ways to show respect without belittling a human being and making her uncomfortable by kneeling.

Oh, I know that it is just for a few minutes that she kneels but does her kneeling mean that she would be submissive all through marriage, does that really mean that she would love her husband and care for him abundantly?  Does it mean that there would be no fights, no harsh words said to each other? My guess is as good as yours, kneeling doesn't validate happiness.

I attended a friend's wedding recently and she told us  she was nervous about being asked to do it. Sometimes, the person or persons overseeing the cutting of the cake (usually friends of the parents) will not ask the bride to show this sign of obeisance but guests at the wedding might yell excitedly "kneel down, kneel down" and she'll end up doing it.

Anyhow, at this friend's wedding, she was all fidgety because she didn't want to do it and didn't know whether or not she'd be asked. As they were making their way to cut the cake from the table, She kept telling the groom "I'm not doing it, I'm really not". Of course, they had already had the discussion several times before the wedding. Yet, she was nervous about having to disobey the master of the ceremony.

 Luckily, she  wasn't asked to, neither did his aunt and uncle sitting behind them , nor their guests. All that nervousness was just for nothing.

In fact, contrary to the usual method of the bride kneeling down, the couple were asked to seal their union with a kiss.

I'll be the first to say though that to avoid this unnecessary drama, talk to your husband before the ceremony and let him know how you feel about the act. Also,  it doesn't make sense allowing something as minute as this to steal your joy. If there is no way of escape, then do it.

Ever thought about this? Have you ever thought that it's something you'd rather not do?  Or you totally support it? Do you like it?  What is your take?  Please share below.