Image: Munaluchibride

In Nigeria, we partake in so many wedding traditions that are either influenced by western culture or better still, passed down from generation to generation in our own traditions. I mean, look at it this way, a wedding probably won’t be a wedding without the bride walking down the aisle to meet her groom who’s anticipating her arrival at the pulpit.

I am entirely certain there are some traditions that can be done without and no one will notice or be upset. Well, maybe a few people will frown at this depending on what traditions we skip but at the end of the day, it is your wedding, not theirs.

White Wedding Dress

We are in the age of exploration and advancement,  therefore, for your wedding, you don’t have to go for the traditional white color. You can go for ivory as well. If you love colors, add a splash of color to your dress via your shoes, waist belt or bow, and jewelry. Some brides are even taking the bold step of getting a dress in nude, light pink, beige and champagne colored gowns. Not your typical colours for a wedding dress but it definitely adds a touch of uniqueness, class and reflects your personal preference. You can still be YOU in your wedding dress and enjoy your day.

Female Bridesmaids (bridesmen) and Male Groomsmen (groomswomen)

In recent times, pictures of a bride who used her male best friend as her maid of honour bombarded the internet. As the bride, if your best friend is a guy, you don’t have to eliminate him from your selected group of friends that make up your bridal party; make him “man of honor” or “bridesman”. Forget the stereotypical bridal party assemble of only women. Some ladies, like myself for example have more male besties than female. It would be a great relief to have these men on my bridal train than some ladies who I am barely acquainted with. The same applies to the groom as well. I have a few close guy friends and it will be my honor if they come on my train as my “bridesmen”.

Bridesmaids Wearing Matching Dresses, Hair-Styles, Shoes and Accessories

A friend of mine was a bridesmaid at a wedding recently and she complained bitterly that the bride had insisted on her girls sewing the same style and making the same hair do. The problem was that she did not like clothes that exposed the bosom and the bridal dress left a lot of cleavage out. Also, she hated weaves but she had been forced to use one.

As the bride, you can insist on the color, fabric and perhaps the length of the dress but let the ladies on your train go out and pick a dress that reflects their style or personality. Just like you, they should be comfortable in their outfits on your day. Being comfortable would mean that they have fun and there would be no moody faces. If possible, let them choose their shoes and accessories as well.

Traditional Exchange of Vows

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with saying the same old lines many people have said before you and will use after you. However, there’s something special about writing your vows in your own words, saying how you feel about your spouse and about your future together. These special vows moment make people teary eyed and your wedding gets talked about months after. You don’t have to be a poet, song writer or author to come up with romantic lines; you can start from scratch or paraphrase borrowed lines from your favorite romance novels, movies, songs and poems. I was privy to attend an event where the couple write their vows themselves. Believe me when I say, it was a beautiful moment.

Making a Grand Entrance into the Wedding Reception Preceded by the Bridal Party

Why repeat things? You can spice up your reception move. No one does the old pattern of the bridal party walking down the aisle before the beautiful bride and handsome groom make their grand entrance in and out of the wedding venue.

It would make more sense if the bridal train dances into the hall with the bride and groom in between which saves time or better still, just introduce the bride and groom alone. They deserve the introduction but we could cut off the bridal party dance/walk-in portion.  After all, isn't the attention supposed to be on the newly weds?

Separating the bride and groom’s side of the family

This act is so archaic, and perhaps needs to be stopped. For isn't the whole purpose of the union to make the couple one and indirectly the family one? However, it’s a common occurrence to see the clear split amongst both side of the family. I mean we already know who is who based on the color of their attire and gele. I don’t think there is the need to even split people further in the hall based on what side of the family they are related to or friends with. Wouldn’t it be awesome if you had a table consisting of a mix of the bride and groom’s folks; talking and getting to each other better?

Newly Weds’ First Dance

Most newly-weds now spice things up and turn this into a group dance type segment where they play songs that everyone would gyrate to and have their friends come on the dance floor to partake in a line dance with them. Now that’s fun. If you must have it on your agenda, at least make it fun for the guests. No one these days want to sit still and watch two people move slowly to music, they are eager to join in the fun and show off some dancing skills.

The same can be said for “Father-daughter” or “Mother-son” dances. However, I say keep this tradition. Every parent looks forward to this. You wouldn’t want to let mommy and daddy down, especially not after the ton of money they put into making your day a success.

Tossing the Bouquet

At a wedding I attended, the lady who caught the bouquet was paraded round the hall for young unmarried man to show an interest in her. The MC wouldn't leave her be,  it seemed like be found joy in getting her a husband but it was obvious the lady in question wasn't amused. Now, I ask, was this necessary?

While I enjoy watching women jump to catch the bouquet, I don’t care to have it at my wedding. As a wedding guest, I loathe this portion of the agenda and it doesn’t help that you have aunts and uncles who can't wait for your wedding pointing you out as a single lady to the MC..

Only time I participate in this tradition is if the bride or groom is a close friend of mine or out of pity for the organisers if a lot of ladies refuse to leave their seats. Now if the saying that the person to catch the bouquet will get married next actually proves to be true in all cases or majority of the times, please believe I’ll be the first on the floor each time and wouldn’t be in favor of skipping it. Don’t judge me. I want to get married at some point as well.

What are your thoughts?  Did I leave anything out?  Do you have a suggestion?  Please leave your comments below.