‘Wedding’ has always been a celebrated concept in Nigeria from time immemorial. It is celebrated in different ways, forms by the different ethnic groups and far back the 80’s, the traditional wedding ceremony of paying dowry/bride price to mostly the bride’s family was mostly how weddings in Nigeria were celebrated.
In our present age, things have changed such that the traditional rites of introduction and payment of bride price is pre-requisite to a couple being wedded but other modern concepts have emerged over time such as the Registry wedding and the ‘White wedding which is basically wedding in a church.
Back then what mattered most was the indigenous culture of our different ethnic groups as regards wedding but all that has changed. Now it comes down to a special and romantic proposal by an eligible bachelor to his lover, then introduction of both families to fixing wedding dates to buying wedding accessories, clothes, picking both genders to either be the groomsmen or bridal train or even the new concept of ‘asoebi girls’ then having a bridal shower and bachelor’s eve party to Registry wedding, traditional wedding ceremony, church wedding ceremony, reception party and now there is an ‘after party’.
Wedding has become a ‘Virus’ that has and still spreads to both the affluent and masses in Nigeria. It is now perceived as a time when families show their worth to expectant guests by throwing elaborate parties. Some persons see it as forbidden to go for low wedding costs and prefer to take loans or borrow funds for something that doesn’t last beyond at most 5 days and forget the journey of marriage the wedding was to help them prepare for.
The male folks are not certainly the centre of attention during these ceremonies, it is always the ‘bride’, so as a result of this; ladies are ready to go over and beyond in making sure they look their best on their wedding day. Gone are the days when no one really cared about the look of your skin, the kind of hair you have on, the colour of your nails, the beauty of your makeup, the worth and design of your fabric, the dress you choose, the wedding venue you pay for, the kind of food and drinks you serve your guests, the souvenirs you share and the pocket of the family you get married to. All these and more is the view of wedding by most persons in Nigeria today.
Sit a lady down and ask what your ideal wedding is? This is the response you are bound to get: ‘Well for starters, the proposal has to be so out of the world and romantic, the engagement ring should be catchy and a bit expensive so that I can flaunt it before my friends and family, my wedding dress must be designer or couture, my asoebi girls and bridal train have to stand out that day, my fabric must speak class, I definitely must have a bridal shower just as my fiancé has his bachelor’s eve party… Oh! I forgot, our pre wedding photoshoot must be done by a professional photographer and the location should be standard even if it means flying out of the country to get the best location and picture quality, then we would hire a wedding planner, caterers and the reception hall should at least have a capacity for not less than 300 people, our wedding souvenirs cannot be just plastic items, we need to impress people and show we are up to the task. Then our honeymoon must be overseas’. All these and more is most ladies dream when you talk of weddings.
Most ladies' discussion revolves around getting their boyfriend to propose or planning an elaborate wedding. Weddings are definitely moments of joy, celebration and happiness but it has become a ‘VIRUS’ that has eaten deep into so many lives that people now see it as a yardstick for being successful and happy.