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It’s YOUR Wedding!
Didn’t they get the notice? This is YOUR wedding! So act like it girl!
Your family members are frustrating you and gradually turning you into a nag and freak and this has filled you with self-loathing. Because you’re NOT usually like this. You’re just pissed because you have some good ideas and no one seems to want to hear them!
Still, you really want everyone to be happy and have good time at your wedding. So you find yourself in a dilemma. Should you do what’s in your heart, or capitulate to the majority?
Here’s how to handle family wedding drama without getting frustrated!
1. Take care of yourself.
Let’s face it. No one is at their best when they’re stressed out and overworked. As much as wedding planning can be a joyous preparation for a joyous day, no one will deny it can also be stressful.
So the first step in dealing with family or friend drama is to take care of yourself first. Schedule regular me-time. Eat well. Get enough fresh air and exercise, and go on wedding-planning-free dates with your partner.
2. Find People You Love and Trust to Run Interference.
There are some things that you, the bride, shouldn’t have to deal with. Uninvited opinions about your dream dress, whether your choice of ceremony music is tasteful or weird, jealous relatives, and family members who are angry with your guest list decisions can add undue stress to the wedding planning process.
The trick is to avoid negativity at all costs and cultivate love and support.
First figure out who your supporters are: your mom, your fiancee, your sister, or your maid of honor. (The makeup of this support group would of course, be different for everyone. )
Then instruct your support team on what is essential for your peace of mind and what is not. Seriously, you have enough to worry about right now without nasty commentators creeping into your life and scattering up your esteem. Have your team all try to diffuse non-essential issues before they get to you.
3. Be Prepared.
The best thing you can do when you start planning your wedding is understand this one simple fact: As soon as the wedding planning begins, the people you love sometimes forget to take their daily dose of manners, and come to you with all manner of foolishness and childishness. Understanding that this is all but inevitable will go a long way in softening the emotional blow of uninvited opinions from your family.
Another step is to decide what your wedding goals and values are and be able to articulate them with compassion and firmness. Take the offender aside and politely but firmly tell them that the decisions you are making for your wedding are yours and your fiances.
Sound too easy or cheap? Then have a script ready with a few little lies and statements:
“Oh, we haven’t printed the Iv yet.”
“Oh, the venue we chose only allows 75 people. It’s not me; it’s the fire marshall who sets the rules.”
“Oh, I haven't thought of that; I’m not really making cake decisions yet, but I’ll keep your idea in mind when I do.”
And my personal favorite wedding lie:
Oh, we haven’t even started real planning yet!”
4. Figure Out Your Priorities and Delegate the Rest.
Oftentimes nosy and overbearing friends and family just want to help and be a part of your day. Knowing your top priorities and delegating the rest will go far in keeping nosy friends and family occupied and focused on productive endeavors.
Then, keep your mouth shut about the rest of your plans. Not everyone needs to make a contribution on your dress choice, menu options, or decor. Save the details of your most important priorities for your nearest and dearest friends.
5. Have an Honest Heart-to-Heart Chat.
It sounds simple. It also sounds scary– like really, really scary. But if you have fighting family members, jealous bridesmaids, or any other types of childish adults, take them aside and explain to them how important it is to you for everyone to get along and offer their support to you during this really nerve racking period. If that doesn’t work, see tip #2 and find people you love and who love you and trust them to run interference.
To recap, this is our 5 Ways To Handle Pre-wedding Family Drama Without Turning Into A Freak
- Take care of yourself.
- Find People You Love and Trust to Run Interference.
- Be Prepared.
- Figure Out Your Priorities and Delegate the Rest.
- Have an Honest Heart-to-Heart Chat.