However absurd it may sound, healthy conflict is necessary for a great marriage. Yes. Contrary to popular opinion, fighting is a useful tool in great relationships and it is an indication of a healthy marriage.
Research has shown that couples who fight are often happier than those who never experience conflicts and that avoiding fights, delaying confrontations, and suppressing and keeping emotions bottled up all the time are recipe for disaster. So it’s okay to fight. Just do it skillfully.
Now, I’m not suggesting that spouses should engage in random, meaningless argument or violence (constant pointless fights are a sign of things going wrong), I’m merely saying that being able to express sentiments and thoughts without intimidation or fear says a lot about the wellbeing of a relationship and that conflict shouldn’t be perceived as a totally bad thing.
Briefly, let me show you why conflict is okay in a relationship.
Your Partner Will Know Your Thoughts and Opinions
Let’s not kid ourselves, everyone—whether married or not—fights. Now, when couples have a fight, they get to express their thoughts and opinions, their dissatisfaction and discontent in a clear and perfect manner, so that the cause of the conflict is avoided by both sides in the future. Without occasional fights, it may be hard to establish certain boundaries.
You get to build Honesty and Trust
Voicing your concern, defending your opinions, and recommending a different perspective shows how much you care about your marriage and about making the best decisions. It shows that your partner and your relationship greatly matters to you. If you never voice your concern, how can your partner know what’s on your mind; how can they trust your intentions?
You Get to Blow off Some Steam
Instead of burying your head in a pillow and crying your eyes out because your partner is doing something wrong, constructive confrontation helps you blow off some steam and releases some of the tension and stress that would have otherwise built up in your system.
Fighting Reminds You That You’re Only Human
No one is perfect. And there are no angels among us. Everyone has flaws and weaknesses. And nothing demonstrates this truth than conflicts. Conflicts remind us that there’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ person or a ‘perfect’ relationships, thereby constantly keep us on our toes to improve and strive to be better.
Fighting Improves Your Health
It’s true! Voicing your concern keeps you happier and healthier, the same way that dodging conflicts affects your mental health and gets you unnecessarily stressed.